My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
