i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
