New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
