do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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