so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My balls are so social today.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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