I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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