i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
