HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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