I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
