Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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