I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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