after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
FUCK WHALES
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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