i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
