We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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