11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
