So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
