Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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