Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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