You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
