it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We need to get me chipped asap
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
