are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
