No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize