me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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