Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
