He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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