My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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