I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
