WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
