I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
