This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
