We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
