I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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