i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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