piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
