I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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