I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
