bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
