He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
