That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he thought i was a dude.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
