why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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