yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize