Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
