He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
