My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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