i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
