I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
