I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
