ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
