You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
