I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
