so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
