I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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