today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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