Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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