4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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