haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's shark week go big or go home
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up under a house in Key West
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
