i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
