As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have fence marks all over my body
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
